An Epiphany.
I learned something important today. I learned that indecision and self consciousness will get me nowhere in life. I went to an advisor to try to transfer to a different school within NYU, but was faced with the fact that I am probably asking to transfer too late. It hurt to hear that, but I know that it was important.
By hearing that I might be screwed. By hearing that I now need to refigure my future plans in college I realized I need to start speaking up for myself. I was scared to go in and talk to an advisor. I was so nervous. But what for? For no reason really. I guess I was scared I would be mocked for trying to voice my desire to transfer so late in the semester. But I know I shouldn’t be.
If I want something in life I need to fight for it. I need to speak up for myself. I need to voice how I feel. I know now that I shouldn’t fear what people think. It will only push me backwards and keep me from being myself. It’s so stupid to care what other people think of me and it’s taken me so long to realize this. I don’t know why, but it has. I shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to be myself. It’s so stupid, but that’s the way I have felt. I have felt that if I express who I am than there is a chance I will be shot down. But now I know, so what? So what if I’m shot down. At least I tried. That’s all that matters. Things have happened in the past and I can’t let those incidents affect the rest of my life. I need to move one. And I feel like I finally can.
I am confident now.
